tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768031806748702199.post1362756536963446901..comments2023-12-16T07:28:05.908-05:00Comments on The Shiny Adventures of a Browncoat Mommy: Writing Challenge - The Cat Slept Beside the LanternChaosMandyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10603264009418103606noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768031806748702199.post-50578930472065197132012-02-08T15:43:18.289-05:002012-02-08T15:43:18.289-05:00You were able to convey both her anxiety and her f...You were able to convey both her anxiety and her final resignation very well. Nicely done.Tara R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02993625193184914299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768031806748702199.post-75138836042009687182012-02-08T15:32:35.184-05:002012-02-08T15:32:35.184-05:00I enjoyed your story. I felt sorry for the MC, tha...I enjoyed your story. I felt sorry for the MC, that she had to give up on real love to ensure her family was cared for. But hopefully she learns to love her mayor's son as much as he loves her.<br /><br />A few small critiques: you use the word cat many times in the first paragraph (and throughout). Perhaps switch it up for feline or "rumbling ball of grey and white fur" (when you speak of it sleeping.)<br /><br />You could remove the word "But" in the last sentence of the 3rd paragraph, it's not really needed. And in the 4th paragraph, the last sentence uses 'but' one after another...I'd reword that sentence. As is it doesn't flow well.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03472645003197467754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768031806748702199.post-53675623152500379892012-02-08T14:51:35.338-05:002012-02-08T14:51:35.338-05:00I like the contrast between the cat's peace an...I like the contrast between the cat's peace and her anxiety.Jester Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10441806535770013592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5768031806748702199.post-71699990935622234732012-02-07T21:09:40.784-05:002012-02-07T21:09:40.784-05:00It is difficult to write a short piece on such a r...It is difficult to write a short piece on such a rich plot. Good use of the prompt to setup the story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com